I wrote this poem in what was a pretty memorable week. It is about a specific time, speaking to specific people, in a specific place. But it is the first time I’ve shared a spoken-word poem, so here goes! Text is below.
To The Native Warriors of Alaska
This AFN Week 2018
It’s okay if you’re feeling exhausted.
It’s okay if you’re feeling energized.
It’s okay if you’re feeling angry.
It’s okay if you’re feeling happy.
It’s okay if you’re feeling confused.
It’s okay if you’re feeling.
It’s okay if you want to run through AFN, and hug 1,000 people you haven’t seen in a year, and pick up every last piece of freebie swag on the convention center floor.
It’s okay to sneak two of those really cool pieces of swag.
(And one for your sister.)
It’s okay if you feel like visiting, and laughing, and eating at a big table.
It’s okay if you want to hide, and order pizza, and re-watch all seven seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer alone.
It’s okay if you want to kick ass, and take names, and show them what a real Native warrior can be like.
It’s okay if you want to protect yourself – because who else is going to?
It’s okay if you want to tell about the time that person touched you, hurt you, scarred you.
It’s okay if you want to tell the world what they did.
It’s okay if you’re not ready yet.
It’s okay to still be scared.
It’s okay to think a single judge upholding a weak sentence against a white man who assaults a Native woman is not the only problem in our system, or the biggest problem.
It’s okay to think he is still a problem, and needs to go.
It’s okay if you want to shout, and march, and let them hear our collective voice on the issues we’ve already fought so hard for.
It’s okay if you’re exhausted, and empty, and need to fill yourself up before an ounce more can be given.
It’s okay to think Elizabeth Warren was right, and politically astute.
It’s okay to think Elizabeth Warren was wrong, and politically expedient.
It’s okay to not have a single thought about Elizabeth Warren at all.
It’s okay to think their “a little bit sexist” joke isn’t that funny.
It’s okay to think it’s not a joke.
It’s okay to be annoyed at the onslaught of unoriginal, uneducated, racist comments online, in the supermarket, at the water cooler, by that well-meaning, concerned acquaintance who just thinks you probably haven’t considered the right view.
It’s okay to be frustrated at those same comments by our elected officials, bosses, media, celebrities, people of influence and power.
It’s okay to be outraged when those comments turn into policy, and textbooks, and rules, and standards.
It’s okay to be furious when those standards turn into Native voter suppression, and missing women who are never searched for, and more lost land, and more lost sovereignty.
It’s okay not to feel furious over those things, but to feel overwhelmed, or frightened, or bewildered, or bitter.
It’s okay if you need to write that thing, or paint that thing, or weave, or sculpt, or carve that thing.
It’s okay if you can’t write that thing, can’t paint that thing, can’t weave, or sculpt, or carve that thing.
It’s okay if you’re sad, or shocked, or furious about our former Lt. Governor.
It’s okay to reserve judgement.
It’s okay to celebrate our new Lt. Governor.
It’s okay to celebrate our kick-ass, inspiring, Yup’ik Woman Lt. Governor.
It’s okay if you want to dive through all the news and all the posts, and respond, and defend, and debate.
It’s okay if you need to shut off the news, and ignore the posts, and only open funny videos of cats looking stupid.
It’s okay if you only want to create videos of cats looking stupid.
It’s okay to seek help, or self-help, or not know what kind of help you need.
It’s okay to grieve about a little girl in Kotzebue who was taken from us.
It’s okay to grieve the loss of someone you never met.
It’s okay to have opinions.
It’s okay not to have opinions.
It’s okay to shout, and scream, and make noise.
It’s okay to hold back the words you can’t yet form
It’s okay to be tired.
It’s okay to be tired.
It’s okay to be so, so tired.
Because tomorrow
Or next week
Or next month
Or next year
You’ll be ready
Exactly when you need to be
And you see that movement on the horizon?
That’s a storm
It’s a storm made drop by drop
By all the other Native warriors
Who have seen those things
And heard those things
And fought those things
And felt those things
And they’ll be ready too
And by landfall
That storm will be a hurricane
So for now
It’s okay to feel.
It’s okay to act.
It’s okay to reflect.
It’s okay to fight.
It’s okay to rest.
It’s okay to breathe.
It’s okay to…
It’s okay.
It’s okay.
It’s okay.
My beautiful Native brothers and sisters
We’re going to be okay.